Here’s a rather pretty space, on the top floor of the Bank, a small condo tower near the corner of Biscayne Boulevard and NE 79th Street that, as the name suggests, used to be a bank. Listed for $750,000 and the biggest penthouse in the building, it was probably once a normal 1,600-foot apartment… you know, with bedrooms and stuff, but at some point converted into just one big room. It’s a huge studio.
What stands out most in the listing, however, is the gigantic table smack dab in the middle. It’s so big, it seats twenty, with room to spare. On one end there’s a futon. You know, for guests. Then, if you squint your eyes, at the far end of the loooong space, you can make out the bed, separated from the rest of the apartment by two very sheer curtains. And from the photos, it’s hard to judge what side of the curtains the bathroom is on, but either way, there’s pretty much no privacy.
What kind of fascinating party animal entertains enough to require a big ol’ dinner table like that, with no need for a little privacy in the bedroom ever? It boggles the mind a little. However, on the other hand, this is Miami, the land of decadent hedonism where everyone’s already used to seeing lots of skin, right? Whoever they are, the place is rented for $4,000 a month until the end of the year, and then it’s all yours.