I have so many questions about this house, and no, “Why is there a colorful cow in the front yard lake?” is not one of them. It’s obviously contemporary art, although whether it’s good art is rather dubious. And that’s not a lake, just a pointlessly massive water feature. There are a lots of other weird things I don’t have answers for though.

My questions start with the architecture. Like, what’s with that dramatic glass wall that sticks out at a 45 degree angle with nothing to look at on the other side except a few ratty palm trees, and yes, the wall of the next door neighbor’s house?

And why does the rooftop playground look suspiciously like a preschool, but has zero shade? Do you want your kids to get heat stroke? And what’s going on with that bathroom that’s wedged under the big curving wall? Why does it have astroturf in it? Finally… see those reclining chairs circled around that TV in the second-floor loft space near the staircase? Does that work well as a media room, or does whatever you’re watching echo through the whole house like the grand canyon?

The house, located at 429 Centre Island in Golden Beach, was listed for sale in February and has had almost $2 million slashed from its price in eight months. Frankly, I’m not shocked.